“Thoughts on Online Dating Apps”


photograph by Justin Bishop

Guest author: Wayne Holt

Elizabeth Anne (Calvert) Henderson wrote an article on her WordPress blog recently, entitled “The Thing About Social Media,” where she listed several pros and cons of using social media.  In the opening paragraph she stated, “The internet is a place where we have to guard our hearts and minds against all things damaging.”  She said social media could lower one’s self-esteem, waste our time, and provide a platform for complainers.  However, the same Internet can be used to help us keep in touch with family and friends and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ in ways like never before in history.  In her conclusion, Elizabeth Anne says, “No, social media isn’t evil. But those temptations are.”  It’s not the tool; it’s the way we use the tool or let it use us.

For years I’ve seen ads on TV for dating services like eHarmony and perhaps others, but recently heard mentioned two social-media-based dating services.  Knowing nothing about either, I did a little research.

On the About page from Kelly’s Korner, I read: “My name is Kelly Stamps.  I live in Northwest Arkansas.  I grew up in a tiny town in Arkansas as a Southern Baptist preacher’s daughter and went to college at Ouachita Baptist University.  I met my husband Scott on a blind date and we married one month before I turned 30.  We have almost been married 9 years!”

On her Home page she says today (January 22) is Singles Day and reminds everyone “just remember eleven couples have met and married through Singles Day here on my blog.”  This certainly appears to be clean and innocent.

The other social media page I heard mentioned may have similar goals, but my reading revealed a much different atmosphere.  In an article, Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse,” I read: “It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering. The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not.” And “When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: ‘You can’t be stuck in one lane … There’s always something better.’”

The site seems to be for the late teens, 20s, and 30s age groups.  In a section, Sex Has Become So Easy, I read, “People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet-meeting is surpassing every other form. ‘It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,’ Garcia says. ‘It is unprecedented from an evolutionary standpoint.’ As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find partners to date and have sex with.”

I could go on with comments such as “you are not ordering a cake, you are ordering a person” or “instant gratification,” but it is obvious this is NO PLACE FOR A CHRISTIAN TO BE HANGING OUT.  I hope any of you using this site or even thinking about using it (or any others like it), will choose a better path and stay away from this temptation.

And, Tinder is not just for the younger crowd.  An article, “Love Me Tinder,” describes Eli as “27 years old, losing the vestigial greenness of his youth” making Tinder-contact with Katherine who “was 37, newly single, with family obligations and a full-time job. Most of her friends were married. She needed something new.”  And what they both want is what Tinder seems to offer—a quick hook-up with a stranger for whatever intent both are comfortable with.

I offer this disclaimer.  Maybe I just read about the bad side of Tinder.  I just read the articles I could find.  But, for any Christian looking for a date, why would you hang out in a sex bar?

Proverbs 4:14-15 “Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; Turn away from it and pass on.”




Is It Right For Me to Be Angry?

angry“Then the Lord said, ‘Is it right for you to be angry?'” Jonah 4:4

I’ve been thinking about this a lot today. Sometimes life can be tough. I think we’d all agree with that. But other times, from our perspective, it just plain stinks. Maybe we’ve had some unfortunate circumstances. Maybe we, like Jonah in the context of Jonah 3-4, just didn’t get what we wanted. But the question often remains, is it right for us to be angry??

Maybe our initial response is to respond like Jonah: “It IS right for me to be angry, even to death!” (4:10). We might feel like Jonah and claim we’d fight even to our death for the justification of our anger. We may even start to blame God like Jonah did (4:1-2)!

Consider this though. What if in our times of deepest frustration and purest anger, God is trying to teach us something?? What if God is hoping that we will learn something about HIM??

If Jonah had only opened his eyes, he would’ve seen that what made him most angry, bitter, and frustrated were some of the purest, sweetest, and most beautiful qualities of God (4:2). If he had only realized that the problem was him, not God, maybe the book of Jonah would’ve ended differently.

Well, we may know how Jonah’s story ended, but our story isn’t over. We still have time in our moments of frustration and even bitterness towards God, to open our eyes and learn something. We have time to swallow our pride, humble ourselves, and stop blaming Him. Maybe, just maybe, as soon as we do so, we will recognize that the qualities of God on which we once placed our blame are actually our source of life, light and hope.

— David Watson

Are You Attached?

brokendollThe amputation of a body part is at best an unpleasant consideration.  Just imagining having an arm or leg cut off probably makes most of us feel a little squeamish.   No one wants to have a part of their body permanently severed.  Amputation invariably handicaps the body and destroys the part that is amputated.  Our body parts must stay connected to our bodies for the benefit of the body and the life of the parts!

  The church is a body.  The body parts are the church members.  “For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.” (1 Cor. 12:12).  But some members think, act, and speak as if they’ve been amputated. 

  • They think that their presence isn’t necessary in assemblies.  A church functions as a body in its assemblies.  It worships, it edifies and it communes (1 Cor. 10:17; 14:26).  What if all the parts of the body felt that they didn’t need to assemble?  Would the body be able to function without all of its parts coming together?  Would it not be more like some lifeless carcass, mutilated in a chain saw massacre, with its parts now strewn all over?  The body is made up of parts, and every part must maintain its connection to the body!  “For in fact the body is not one member but many” (1 Cor. 12:14). 

  • They talk as if they are not part of the church.  They’ll refer to the church that they are supposed to be a member of in the third person.  Instead of saying “We had a gospel meeting” or “Our attendance was good” or “Here’s something we’re doing to spread the gospel,” they’ll say, “They had a meeting” and “Their attendance was good.”  Instead of focusing on what they are to be doing, they’ll begrudge what others get to do and focus on that.  But just because a member talks like he is detached from the body, doesn’t mean that he is.    “If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body?  And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body?” (1 Cor. 12:15-16).

  • They act as if the church can do just as well without them.  Every part of the body has some function.  Some parts may appear to be more important than others, but EVERY PART has a role to play if the body is to be at its best. “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’; nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’  No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary” (1 Cor. 12:21-22).

   These things being true, why would any Christian continue to think, talk and act as if he is “detached” from the church?  Could it be that some just don’t see that their usefulness to the Lord and their own spiritual lives depend on their attachment to the body?  Are you attached?


Doing Odd Things to Get Even

cvslooted  Have you ever heard of someone cutting off their nose to spite their face?  In an effort to get back at others, or teach somebody a lesson, people often wind up inflicting a lot of pain on themselves.  In recent news, we’e seen folks rioting and looting in their own neighborhoods to protest conditions in their own neighborhoods!

The ultimate example of the vindictive self-destroyer may be the suicide bomber.  The bitterness and hatred that could lead a person to blow himself up just to harm those that (he thinks) have harmed him, reveals human vindictiveness for what it often is: vengeance gone stupid.

But most of us don’t have to look at the headlines to find examples of the bitter pill that the world ironically calls “sweet revenge.”  If you’ve ever tried to take it, you probably already know how unfulfilling and damaging it can be.

  Vengeance just does not belong to men; it belongs to God.  “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19).

  One of the means God uses to exact justice is civil government.  God-ordained law enforcement “is God’s minister to you for good… an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil” (Romans 13:4).  And any injustices in our “justice system” will be rectified when the Lord returns “in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:8).

  There appear to be any number of reasons that God has not given individuals the right to avenge themselves.  For one, we aren’t wise enough to determine who deserves to be punished. Nor are we very good at deciding the appropriate degree of punishment to be inflicted.  This is especially true when we are personally involved in a situation.  Our judgment is imperfect at best, and it is often clouded by self-serving prejudice.  But another reason we haven’t been given the right to take vengeance for ourselves, and the main point of this article, is that our efforts to even a score are often so badly botched that they wind up hurting us more than anyone.

  Truly, “Whoever digs a pit will fall into it, and he who rolls a stone will have it roll back on him” (Proverbs 26:27).

  Let us give place to the wrath of God.  The Scriptures promise, “He will repay my enemies for their evil” (Psalm 54:5).   Let’s trust Him.


Let’s Be Clear: Gambling is a Sin

lottoticketAs the Alabama legislature once again considers a statewide lottery as a means of funding state government, Christians need to clear on this one fact: Gambling is a sin.

Over the years, I’ve heard more than one person assert that “the Bible does not condemn gambling.” While it is true that there is no Bible statement which says, “Thou shalt not gamble,” it is entirely UNTRUE that the Bible is silent on the subject. Gambling is shown to be sinful by a number of general principles of truth found in the Scriptures. The Bible condemns gambling the same way it condemns racketeering, drug abuse, and pornography. None of these things is specifically mentioned in Scripture, but they can all be shown to be sinful by the straightforward application of Bible principles.


1) It is an exercise in covetousness. People gamble because of a lust for money possessed by others. In Hebrews 13:5 God’s book says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have.” If gamblers are “content with” what they have, why are they gambling? They are looking for the big payoff! They are willing to risk what they’ve got out of a desire to get rich quick. “But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows” (1 Timothy 6:9-10). Jesus said, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses” (Luke 12:15).

2) Gambling is poor stewardship. All that we have has been given to us by God and is to be used to glorify Him. The apostle Peter admonishes us to be “good stewards of the manifold grace of God” (1 Peter 4:10).  Gambling institutions such as casinos, horse tracks, government lotteries and charity raffles design their games in such a way as to guarantee that players will lose much more money overall than they ever win. The odds of hitting the jackpot in a typical state lottery are about one in 12 million. Any investment firm that took such chances with its clients’ money would soon be out of business and probably facing criminal charges. Surely the Christian’s duty to be a “faithful” steward is greater than that of some Wall Street investment firm (1 Corinthians 4:2). How can Christians consider themselves faithful stewards of the finances God has entrusted to their care and gamble them away?

3) Playing the Lottery promotes addiction. Addiction is sinful because it places another master on the throne of a person’s heart. That throne should be occupied by the Lord alone. “No man can serve two masters” (Matthew 6:24a). A significant percentage of people (especially young people) who gamble will become addicted to it. It will control their lives.

4) Playing the Lottery is worldliness. Gambling is worldly in its origin and nature. In fact, one would be hard pressed to think of an activity that more people would identify as being worldly. When Hollywood wants to depict a character in a film as a man of the world, what activities do they typically have the character engage in? Three things immediately come to mind: drinking, smoking and gambling. In 1 John 2:15 the apostle John commands us, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

 Other thoughts from Scripture could be offered, but these more than suffice to conclude that gambling is definitely a sin. “Whoever abides in Him does not sin.” (1 John 3:6).


A Day in the Courts of God | A Home With God

I’m sharing this article I wrote on A Home With God.  Hoping it will be an encouragement to those who might not have seen it there.

A Day in the Courts of God

Is there somewhere you long to be more than any place else in this world?  Think about it.  Maybe it’s a favorite vacation spot, a cabin on the lake, a concert by your favorite entertainer, or just an easy chair in your living room surrounded by family.  Most of us have that ideal place that stirs within us a wonderful mix of feelings — joy, excitement, peace and contentment.

For the Psalmist, that ideal spot was the tabernacle of God.  He longed for it with every fiber of his being.  “How lovely is Your tabernacle, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, yes, even faints For the courts of the LORD; My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God” (Psalms 84:1-2).  He’s a bit obsessed, isn’t he?  But what a magnificent obsession!  In verse ten he sounds like a kid talking about getting to go to Disney World when he says, “For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.”

Heaven is God’s eternal tabernacle.  Just one everlasting day in God’s presence will be better than any day you’ve ever spent on earth, even if you could live a thousand lifetimes.  As the apostle John is about to be shown heaven’s splendor in the book of Revelation, he writes. “And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God’ ” (Revelation 21:3).

For those who love God and long to be with Him, there could be no better place than God’s eternal tabernacle.  May it be our life-long obsession.

 – Steve Klein

Deflected Scriptures and Ricochet Sermons

 New Life crime scene images for POOL At the end of a sermon, how often have you said out loud or to yourself,  “There are a lot of people here who could use that sermon.”  Or, “I hope brother _______ was paying attention to that.” Or, “I wish sister ________ had been here to hear that lesson.”  For most of us, it’s easy to see how the Scriptures apply to others, but it’s not as easy to understand how they apply to us as individuals. This was one of the main shortcomings of the Pharisees.  Jesus said of them, “For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers” (Matthew 23:4).

  I’ve heard old time preachers talk about preaching ricochet sermons.  They would preach a lesson aimed at convicting a particular individual, only to have that individual remain entirely unaffected, but someone else in the congregation would holler and complain about how that sermon had been aimed right at them.  Apparently, the lesson bounced off one person and hit someone else!  A ricochet sermon!

  A bullet won’t ricochet off butter.  It has to hit something hard.  That’s true of God’s word too. When hearts and minds are hard, even God’s word cannot penetrate.  The person who rejects and deflects the Scriptures will not be changed by them and cannot be helped by them. The seed that falls on the hard wayside soil can’t penetrate, so it doesn’t germinate, and it never has a chance to bear fruit (cf. Matthew 13:18-19). In those whose hardened hearts deflect God’s word, “the prophecy of Isaiah is fulfilled, which says: ‘Hearing you will hear and shall not understand, and seeing you will see and not perceive; for the hearts of this people have grown dull. Their ears are hard of hearing, And their eyes they have closed, Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, So that I should heal them'” (Matthew 13:14-15).

  My friend, the truth of God’s word is for you.  It applies to you.  It will help you.  Receive it and examine yourself to see how.  “Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion” (Hebrews 3:15).

— Steve Klein