“Thoughts on Online Dating Apps”

tinder

photograph by Justin Bishop

Guest author: Wayne Holt

Elizabeth Anne (Calvert) Henderson wrote an article on her WordPress blog recently, entitled “The Thing About Social Media,” where she listed several pros and cons of using social media.  In the opening paragraph she stated, “The internet is a place where we have to guard our hearts and minds against all things damaging.”  She said social media could lower one’s self-esteem, waste our time, and provide a platform for complainers.  However, the same Internet can be used to help us keep in touch with family and friends and spread the gospel of Jesus Christ in ways like never before in history.  In her conclusion, Elizabeth Anne says, “No, social media isn’t evil. But those temptations are.”  It’s not the tool; it’s the way we use the tool or let it use us.

For years I’ve seen ads on TV for dating services like eHarmony and perhaps others, but recently heard mentioned two social-media-based dating services.  Knowing nothing about either, I did a little research.

On the About page from Kelly’s Korner, I read: “My name is Kelly Stamps.  I live in Northwest Arkansas.  I grew up in a tiny town in Arkansas as a Southern Baptist preacher’s daughter and went to college at Ouachita Baptist University.  I met my husband Scott on a blind date and we married one month before I turned 30.  We have almost been married 9 years!”

On her Home page she says today (January 22) is Singles Day and reminds everyone “just remember eleven couples have met and married through Singles Day here on my blog.”  This certainly appears to be clean and innocent.

The other social media page I heard mentioned may have similar goals, but my reading revealed a much different atmosphere.  In an article, Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse,” I read: “It’s a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering. The tables are filled with young women and men who’ve been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not.” And “When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: ‘You can’t be stuck in one lane … There’s always something better.’”

The site seems to be for the late teens, 20s, and 30s age groups.  In a section, Sex Has Become So Easy, I read, “People used to meet their partners through proximity, through family and friends, but now Internet-meeting is surpassing every other form. ‘It’s changing so much about the way we act both romantically and sexually,’ Garcia says. ‘It is unprecedented from an evolutionary standpoint.’ As soon as people could go online they were using it as a way to find partners to date and have sex with.”

I could go on with comments such as “you are not ordering a cake, you are ordering a person” or “instant gratification,” but it is obvious this is NO PLACE FOR A CHRISTIAN TO BE HANGING OUT.  I hope any of you using this site or even thinking about using it (or any others like it), will choose a better path and stay away from this temptation.

And, Tinder is not just for the younger crowd.  An article, “Love Me Tinder,” describes Eli as “27 years old, losing the vestigial greenness of his youth” making Tinder-contact with Katherine who “was 37, newly single, with family obligations and a full-time job. Most of her friends were married. She needed something new.”  And what they both want is what Tinder seems to offer—a quick hook-up with a stranger for whatever intent both are comfortable with.

I offer this disclaimer.  Maybe I just read about the bad side of Tinder.  I just read the articles I could find.  But, for any Christian looking for a date, why would you hang out in a sex bar?

Proverbs 4:14-15 “Do not enter the path of the wicked, And do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; Turn away from it and pass on.”

https://elizannehenderson.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/the-thing-about-social-media/

http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating